Effective Email
Ensure Easy of Reading: the email has a clear and short subject and you can know the important of the message. The message presents the point in one sentence and it doesn’t have a long paragraph. Also, the email contains specific and clear request, so the recipients know exactly how to respond. Finally, the message presents bullets format with a clear information.
Show Respect for Others’ Time: the email selected carefully the recipient to avoid information overload and email fatigue.
Protect Privacy and Confidentiality: the email doesn’t present any sensitive or confidential information.
Ineffective Email
Ensure Easy of Reading: the first part of the email doesn’t have a descriptive message. In the second part, the email doesn’t have a complete professional line. It can be more professional if the person writes the name and not only the department.
From: Delected <example@Mercy.Net>
Date: Friday, November 15, 2019 12:31 PM
Subject: Important 2020 Open Enrollment Update
Please complete open enrollment![mmp1]
Delected, MEd
Director – Operations
Adult Medicine
Mercy Clinic
XXXX South Fremont, Suite XXXX | Springfield, MO. 65800
Office: 417-820-3xxx
Fax: 417-820-4xxx
————————————————————————————————-
From: Delected <example@Mercy.Net>
Sent: Friday, November 15, 2019 12:31 PM
To:[mmp2] Delected <example@Mercy.Net>
Subject:[mmp3] Important 2020 Open Enrollment Update
Thank you for taking the time to review the important benefit information in this email. You are receiving this email because according to our records, the list of co-worker(s) below as of Nov. 15 at 10:00 A.M. have not started their benefit enrollment for 2020. [mmp4]
As a friendly reminder, all benefit eligible co-workers must access the new benefit platform, MyBenefits powered by Benefitsolver, to make benefit elections for the 2020 calendar year, elections from 2019 will not roll over to 2020. They will need to make elections for each benefit and/or waive any coverage, including but not limited to, medical, dental, vision, supplemental life insurance and other voluntary benefits. Please encourage your co-worker(s) to complete the enrollment as soon as possibleas Open Enrollment closes on Friday, Nov. 22 at 11:59 p.m.
To complete Open Enrollment, please use the following instructions (site is mobile friendly):
- Click Here to Enroll or type in your address bar mybenefits.mercy.net
- Click on Register, you will need:
- Log in using the user name and password you created
- Click on Register, you will need:
If you have a co-worker on a leave of absence at this time, please encourage them to use the instructions above to enroll from a home computer or mobile device. They may also contact the Benefit Support Center for questions at 1-888-599-3xxx. The Benefit Support Center hours of operation are 7:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. Monday through Friday.
Also, if you have co-worker on the list below who doesn’t report to you or are no longer with Mercy, please complete an Electronic Personnel Action Form (ePAF) to update the co-worker’s record.
NOTE: PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND – THIS EMAIL BOX IS NOT MONITORED
Benefit Support Center
1-888-599-3xxx
[mmp1]Ineffective – Ensure Easy of Reading: poorly message.
[mmp2]Effective – Show respect for other’s time: specific recipient.
[mmp3]Effective – Ensure Easy of Reading: provide a short, descriptive subject line.
[mmp4]Effective – Protect privacy: the email mentioned the names of the coworkers (erased to protect the example), but no ID numbers or another confidential information of the coworkers.
[mmp5]Effective – Use bullets format to rapid processing of information.
[mmp6]Ineffective – name of the person.
Monica 